Jaadugar's Marital Bliss

[Jaadugar]

Marital Bliss


A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

‘Careful,’ he said, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!

You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We

need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?

They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER

listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you

CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you

always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’

The wife stared at him. ‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think

I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?’

The husband calmly replied, ‘I just wanted to show you what it feels

like when I’m driving.’

[BroncosLove]

He should let her drive, especially after the drinks..

[Jaadugar]

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said:

"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."

(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)

[AA]

Hey Presto..........

[BroncosLove]

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said:

"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."

(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)

Sign the documents, and demand it every 7pm. If possible change the clock to 7 pm....

[Jaadugar]

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies.

[BroncosLove]

Smart woman, share and care?

[Jaadugar]

A husband and wife were sitting at a table at a high school reunion, and She kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

The husband asked, 'Do you know him?' 'Yes,' She sighed, 'He's the old boyfriend of mine. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says the husband. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And that's when the fight started.....

[LittleStraNger Lonely amongst the crowd]

A husband and wife were sitting at a table at a high school reunion, and She kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

The husband asked, 'Do you know him?' 'Yes,' She sighed, 'He's the old boyfriend of mine. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says the husband. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And that's when the fight started.....

Nice.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 120 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale.
And that's when the fight started....

[intelinside feels like I just climbed Mt Everest and slid my way back to the ground......]

Nice.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 120 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale.
And that's when the fight started....

Oh wow ... OMG like after that you are still here and able to type. BTW was the scale a digital one or the nostalagic mechanical one? The reason why I am asking this question is because if the Digital one crashed on your head, it wouldnt have done much damage as compared to the mechanical one. I bet the numbers would have looked absolutely gorgeous around your face with the dial making you look like a human wall clock.... tik tok tik tok tik tok...... Did the scale have any alarms in it ??? that would have made you sound like tik tok tik tok tik tok... ding dong its 1 o'clock and its time for lunch.. thanks hun but I am not hungry